Popping toxic bubbles is leaving me feeling pretty toxic myself. I’m going to advocate for my own mental health now and stay away from this website. I love most of you, but some of you really need to learn to be more mindful of other people’s feelings the same way you want them to be mindful of yours. People trying to express the ways in which other people’s insensitivities have hurt them is not a place for you to come in and assume the role of the victim to deflect any personal responsibility. If I hurt anyone in the anger that that caused me, I apologise because I know that having things said about you that hurt your feelings can have lasting negative effects on your psyche.
telling ppl attracted to men that there are no good men out there or that men can’t love only normalizes poor treatment from men & doesn’t do anything helpful
#the idea that all men are naturally garbage is super unhelpful#because it absolves awful men of the responsibility to be better
#it also discourages men who do want to improve their behaviour but don’t know how
#by convincing them that they’ll be reviled no matter what they do
#learning how to change involves leaving confort zones
#and making yourself vulnerable by approaching other people’s spaces for advice
if me saying men ain’t shit “discourages them from improving” then that is truly their problem tbh.. men need to want to change and grow and be better themselves, it’s not the responsibility of women to hold their hand thru life. “i’ll be reviled no matter what i do, so obviously i will continue to be a sexist douche” just isn’t that sympathetic to me! lol. n just personal philosophy wise like, goodness should be sought for the sake of goodness, not for the sake of recognition/reward ..
Let me break down what you just said real quick.
“If constantly hearing people tell you that they hate you despite you not having done anything ends up making you need to see a therapist because of the ceaseless emotional battery and self-loathing it causes you to internalise, that’s your own fault for having emotions capable of being hurt, not mine for hurting them. Grow up and stop being such a baby. You don’t need the love and support that any human being needs to thrive emotionally, you should do it because you care about yourself, and nothing makes men care about themselves more than constantly being told that they’re hated.”
You are part of the problem.
‘Stop saying that you hate people you don’t know’ shouldn’t be a controversial statement, it should be bare fucking minimum of human decency.
To the person who said ‘ur illiterate’ then blocked me.
If you say that men who need to see therapists aren’t your responsibility in the same paragraph you defend the use of language that harms ALL men (language like ‘I hate ALL men’) you are contributing to a culture that
pushes men to depression or aggressive behavior eventually leading to required therapy.
If you advocate for a world in which men throughout all their lives are told that they’re hated for things they didn’t personally do, you are a direct contributor in the generally poor mental health in men that leads good men to get depressed and self-loathing which leads to suicide rates in men that ECLIPSE those in women. YOUR WORDS HAVE EXACTLY AS MUCH CONSEQUENCE AS ANYONE ELSE’S NO MATTER HOW MUCH OF A VICTIM YOU WANT TO BE.
Your actions have just as real negative impacts on innocent peoples’ lives as anyone else no matter how you justify it to yourself. You ARE, in part, responsible if you advocate for boys growing up having to constantly hear that shit.
On a more petty note, if you’re going to call people illiterate, you’d better spell every word correctly.
(When you block people, they don’t get to read everything you just wrote in your response, so I can see you’re really dedicated to improving understanding between people and not living in a 2-inch bubble.)
EDIT: Just saw your little rant on another device. You are the one throwing a hissy fit. I’m advocating for a world in which less people kill themselves. I have not been misogynistic to any single person on this thread. I was contemptuous and mocking, but I’ve dialed that back quite a bit because I know that it can needlessly hurt people’s feelings (case in point) ((still need just a little contemptuous mockery in there to really nail in my point)). You can’t “hold me accountable” for trying to hold people who are causing actual emotional oppression on innocent people accountable. I don’t care WHO the fuck you are or what your gender is. I WILL call you out if you defend the use of language that hurts innocent people no matter who THEY are.
In no world is saying ‘I hate all men’ “calling someone out for misogyny once in a fucking blue moon.” It’s telling them that you hate them every day.
Final edit: You just assumed the gender of every person I responded to as well. That’s awfully insensitive of you to assume they were all women. (Hint: they weren’t)
I don’t think I can stop responding to people on this post. I need as many people to understand that men’s feeling are just as capable of being hurt as any woman’s. If there’s no excuse for men harming women through insensitivity, there’s no excuse for women harming men through insensitivity as retaliation. Take out your grievances on the individuals responsible.
telling ppl attracted to men that there are no good men out there or that men can’t love only normalizes poor treatment from men & doesn’t do anything helpful
#the idea that all men are naturally garbage is super unhelpful#because it absolves awful men of the responsibility to be better
#it also discourages men who do want to improve their behaviour but don’t know how
#by convincing them that they’ll be reviled no matter what they do
#learning how to change involves leaving confort zones
#and making yourself vulnerable by approaching other people’s spaces for advice
if me saying men ain’t shit “discourages them from improving” then that is truly their problem tbh.. men need to want to change and grow and be better themselves, it’s not the responsibility of women to hold their hand thru life. “i’ll be reviled no matter what i do, so obviously i will continue to be a sexist douche” just isn’t that sympathetic to me! lol. n just personal philosophy wise like, goodness should be sought for the sake of goodness, not for the sake of recognition/reward ..
Let me break down what you just said real quick.
“If constantly hearing people tell you that they hate you despite you not having done anything ends up making you need to see a therapist because of the ceaseless emotional battery and self-loathing it causes you to internalise, that’s your own fault for having emotions capable of being hurt, not mine for hurting them. Grow up and stop being such a baby. You don’t need the love and support that any human being needs to thrive emotionally, you should do it because you care about yourself, and nothing makes men care about themselves more than constantly being told that they’re hated.”
You are part of the problem.
‘Stop saying that you hate people you don’t know’ shouldn’t be a controversial statement, it should be bare fucking minimum of human decency.
telling ppl attracted to men that there are no good men out there or that men can’t love only normalizes poor treatment from men & doesn’t do anything helpful
#the idea that all men are naturally garbage is super unhelpful#because it absolves awful men of the responsibility to be better
#it also discourages men who do want to improve their behaviour but don’t know how
#by convincing them that they’ll be reviled no matter what they do
#learning how to change involves leaving confort zones
#and making yourself vulnerable by approaching other people’s spaces for advice
if me saying men ain’t shit “discourages them from improving” then that is truly their problem tbh.. men need to want to change and grow and be better themselves, it’s not the responsibility of women to hold their hand thru life. “i’ll be reviled no matter what i do, so obviously i will continue to be a sexist douche” just isn’t that sympathetic to me! lol. n just personal philosophy wise like, goodness should be sought for the sake of goodness, not for the sake of recognition/reward ..
Men are adults and they can take themselves to therapy I’m not here to reraise every man that lacks empathy
Since when is not telling people that you hate them based on the actions of people who aren’t them ‘raising’ them? It’s not anyone’s fault if they take offense to hearing people say in literal terms that they’re hated without even having done anything, it’s your fault for saying it. You can’t take out your anger of people being insensitive to your feelings by being insensitive of other peoples’ feelings and then refusing to take any level of responsibility because of your own perceived victimhood. Stop making men have to hear that they’re hated for no reason and maybe men will stop feeling so much self-hatred come from within.
“I’m not here to reraise every man that lacks empathy.“
You lack empathy and here I am reraising you apparently.
telling ppl attracted to men that there are no good men out there or that men can’t love only normalizes poor treatment from men & doesn’t do anything helpful
#the idea that all men are naturally garbage is super unhelpful#because it absolves awful men of the responsibility to be better
#it also discourages men who do want to improve their behaviour but don’t know how
#by convincing them that they’ll be reviled no matter what they do
#learning how to change involves leaving confort zones
#and making yourself vulnerable by approaching other people’s spaces for advice
Also also it perpetuates internalized hatred and low self-esteem in men who are genuinely good and it leads to poor mental health and the sense that as a result of being the gender they are they are automatically to be reviled.
It can also make trans men feel bad or guilty about being men.
Mmm. No. It is not our job to teach y’all how to be respectful human beings. We are not your parents. It is not our job to raise you. A lot of men are assholes. These are just the facts. People have a right to state these facts, Becuase they are mostly based on personal experience and shit that we have seen done to other people. Bottom line is if it doesn’t apply to you, and you KNOW your one of the good ones, keep fucking scrolling. It’s really that simple.
It’s impossible for any man to KNOW they’re one of the good ones if they constantly hear women saying “I hate ALL men” no matter where they go. It just makes them hyper-critical of themselves and makes good men beat themselves up like they’re the worst in the world for trivial and unimportant shit.
This is a post advocating for men’s mental health so maybe you should take your own advice and keep on scrolling. There is no excuse for furthering the generally poor mental health of men no matter how justified you think telling them “I hate all men” is. Say it in privacy or you’re just harming innocent men and turning them into the people that made you say “I hate all men.” in the first place. Your words and actions are capable of hurting all people the exact same as men’s words and actions are capable of hurting you no matter how you justify it to yourself.
telling ppl attracted to men that there are no good men out there or that men can’t love only normalizes poor treatment from men & doesn’t do anything helpful
#the idea that all men are naturally garbage is super unhelpful#because it absolves awful men of the responsibility to be better
#it also discourages men who do want to improve their behaviour but don’t know how
#by convincing them that they’ll be reviled no matter what they do
#learning how to change involves leaving confort zones
#and making yourself vulnerable by approaching other people’s spaces for advice
Also also it perpetuates internalized hatred and low self-esteem in men who are genuinely good and it leads to poor mental health and the sense that as a result of being the gender they are they are automatically to be reviled.
It can also make trans men feel bad or guilty about being men.
Favorite part of this post is that when you reblog it you also get funny brainworm asks as freebies
The post is so fucking off base like, most of the time when people say they hate men, all fucking men, it’s because they’re oppressed by men, have been traumatized by men (often repeatedly) and it’s a fucking way to vent. If you feel like you can’t date men or you feel bad about yourself cuz someone has said they hate all men, then take a good hard look at yourself. And no trans men aren’t exempt from this, big fucking thanks. Yes they have complex experiences and should be listened to and uplifted, but if you think someone feeling guilty about being a man, cis or not, because someone said men fucking suck (which they do) isn’t grounds to being cautious about why exactly they feel guilty or is more important than venting about misogyny then reevaluate.
Obviously not all men are fucking awful, mlm relationships are beautiful and should be protected, trans men should be protected and supported, but stop fucking projecting, this literally reads like “notallmen” bullshit that popped up during various movements. Like “ow that personally makes me feel bad about liking men because you said men are garbage”. Fuck you, Yes all men. Like just because you’re gay or trans doesn’t mean you get a magic exemption from being a man, your experiences are different, but your actions still have a god damn affect on non men.
Also implying men aren’t going to want to better themselves unless people coddle them and strike their egos and tell how capable they are is a fucking joke. Be better for yourself, especially if you’re a god damn adult man.
“I know my life revolves around calling half of the world’s population trash based on something completely out of their control, but if it makes you feel bad YOU have a serious problem. Maybe you should stop being such a man and then all the pain I’m causing you will magically disappear. Because you see, I’m not responsible for how my words hurt you, but you’re responsible for how the word’s of other men have affected me. If I say ‘yes all men are garbage’ and you’re offended, you should consider how men have hurt ME. What? You think I should consider how I hurt OTHERS? But then I’m not the victim so you can see the predicament I’m in.”
‘People of a certain creed or characteristic have wronged me’ has never been an excuse for racism, sexism or homophobia, so why do you get a free pass for ‘venting’ about ALL MEN?
‘Gay people have yelled at me and made fun of me so I hate all gay people. Yes, all gay people. If you’re gay and that offends you, you should take a long hard look in the mirror and stop being so mean and rude buddy.’
(I say this as someone who has actually been traumatized by a gay person so this isn’t just a throwaway analogy. Know what I did afterwards? I forgave him and we’re good friends now.)
I’m a lesbian thanks lol
Anyways I hate all men.
Really? Is ‘Butch-Dog’ a lesbian? I never would have fucking guessed.
And do you hate all men too? Never would have guessed that either.
Learn to be a better fucking person and maybe all men will stop hating you as well. (See how it goes both ways? It’s almost as if you’re just as responsible for your words and actions as anyone else. Oh wait no you’re a girl, so you don’t have to work on being a better fucking human being. That’s just for the trashbag men.)
I’m not a girl, I’m nonbinary so thanks. And I go to therapy and I’m pretty happy with myself :^).
Also, since you can tell so much about me, you should know I really really don’t mind if men hate me. Men have already hated me more violently and terribly than I’d ever dream of hating them.
Add me to your list of gay people who yelled at you and made fun of you <3
(I know this is a long and wordy post, but this shit matters to me. I hope you haven’t blocked me because this isn’t more of the same aggressive derision from before. Please read this.)
Oh, sorry about that. You can identify as what you want and I do apologise for misgendering since I know how much that can hurt. It’s just that lesbian implies girl-who-loves-girls so that wasn’t a baseless assumption of gender if that’s how it came across, though I suppose there really isn’t a widely agreed upon alternate term to use instead, so I get it.
Although I know "I hate all men” only targets those who take that on themselves, you need to understand exactly how different the cognitive experience of being a man is. “I hate all men” when taken literally is a very strongly pointed and sweeping statement against so many innocent and good people, and men will take things like that literally because they are men and that’s how it works. It’s not right, and we should work to improve it, but the pain constantly hearing those words causes is still there.
This whole topic just gets to me especially hard because growing up, not only was I the gender that has a predisposition to takes things literally, I have Asperger’s syndrome as well which means that up until just a few years ago I would always take things like this literally and internalise it and it pushed me to the absolute brink of misery and depression. I still tell myself that I hate myself or that I’m a loser subconsciously 20+ times a day for basically nothing because of this belief that’s pushed through oppression-conscious culture. The belief that all men need to be constantly considerate and accommodating at all times or they are part of the societal system that oppresses you. I’m trying to be better, but apparently not as well as I could be since I’ve taken up this combative tone with you and been kind of an asshole.
I do apologise for being so aggressively worded before. That doesn’t help anything and it just drives a wedge between our abilities to fully see things from both perspectives, It’s just that there are more young men growing up right now who are going through what I’ve gone through, the same way that there are young non-binary children growing up experiencing something much worse. Most males need to be taught how to be more conscious of others and when you’re not a man that sort of self-centered attitude looks so unnecessary and stupid, and it is, but it is usually the default for us and something that we NEED the help of others to overcome. In a perfect world we’d be able to overcome it through insightful free thinking, but society hasn’t been set up to encourage that sort of thinking.
Saying “I hate all men” may make sense as something that not all men should take offense to to you, but to the MEN who have done NOTHING to harm you it is very direct and very spiteful. It just exacerbates the problem that made you hate men in the first place. It either pushes men to be self-loathing and depressed, eventually leading to self-harm, or it makes them angrier and turns them into violent cunts, eventually leading to the harm of others. Separate the group from the individual. No individual person is responsible for a trend, the trend is responsible for the individual people. Many of them get past it when given the love and support that ANY human needs to thrive emotionally, but you saying that they shouldn’t need the love and they should just suck it up on their own and be better is the exact sort of shit that sent me into the worst period of my life because it just made me believe I was broken for not being able to do it alone.
I’ve been alone for ten years now because of my fear of hurting women. Women do show interest in me, but I don’t know how I’d act in a relationship. I know I would never be violent or abusive, but I don’t want my depression to crush the people I love and I don’t want to get into arguments caused by miscommunication. I am working on finding the answers within and being less judgmental of myself but it has been a long path through a lot of bullshit and you contradicting yourself by going from “obviously not all men are fucking awful” to (in the same paragraph even) “Fuck you, Yes all men.” is the exact sort of shit that emotionally oppresses men and turns them into the assholes that you hate. You can call that bullshit if you want. Fall back to the good old ‘it’s impossible for men to be oppressed under any circumstance’ argument that further crushes my right to have emotions that can be hurt, furthering the emotional oppression. But know that your words hurt people too.
I know that you have been oppressed. I can’t deny your emotional experiences, but I’m sick of living in a world where people constantly deny mine. The fact that people can’t advocate for men’s mental health without a bunch of people who don’t know what it’s like coming in and saying “fuck all men” is really spirit-crushing. Please be more considerate in the future. I’ll try be less derisive in return.
EDIT: Lot’s of edits. I’m trying to be as clear as possible in what I have to say. I don’t want any room for misinterpretation.
telling ppl attracted to men that there are no good men out there or that men can’t love only normalizes poor treatment from men & doesn’t do anything helpful
#the idea that all men are naturally garbage is super unhelpful#because it absolves awful men of the responsibility to be better
#it also discourages men who do want to improve their behaviour but don’t know how
#by convincing them that they’ll be reviled no matter what they do
#learning how to change involves leaving confort zones
#and making yourself vulnerable by approaching other people’s spaces for advice
Also also it perpetuates internalized hatred and low self-esteem in men who are genuinely good and it leads to poor mental health and the sense that as a result of being the gender they are they are automatically to be reviled.
It can also make trans men feel bad or guilty about being men.
Favorite part of this post is that when you reblog it you also get funny brainworm asks as freebies
The post is so fucking off base like, most of the time when people say they hate men, all fucking men, it’s because they’re oppressed by men, have been traumatized by men (often repeatedly) and it’s a fucking way to vent. If you feel like you can’t date men or you feel bad about yourself cuz someone has said they hate all men, then take a good hard look at yourself. And no trans men aren’t exempt from this, big fucking thanks. Yes they have complex experiences and should be listened to and uplifted, but if you think someone feeling guilty about being a man, cis or not, because someone said men fucking suck (which they do) isn’t grounds to being cautious about why exactly they feel guilty or is more important than venting about misogyny then reevaluate.
Obviously not all men are fucking awful, mlm relationships are beautiful and should be protected, trans men should be protected and supported, but stop fucking projecting, this literally reads like “notallmen” bullshit that popped up during various movements. Like “ow that personally makes me feel bad about liking men because you said men are garbage”. Fuck you, Yes all men. Like just because you’re gay or trans doesn’t mean you get a magic exemption from being a man, your experiences are different, but your actions still have a god damn affect on non men.
Also implying men aren’t going to want to better themselves unless people coddle them and strike their egos and tell how capable they are is a fucking joke. Be better for yourself, especially if you’re a god damn adult man.
“I know my life revolves around calling half of the world’s population trash based on something completely out of their control, but if it makes you feel bad YOU have a serious problem. Maybe you should stop being such a man and then all the pain I’m causing you will magically disappear. Because you see, I’m not responsible for how my words hurt you, but you’re responsible for how the word’s of other men have affected me. If I say ‘yes all men are garbage’ and you’re offended, you should consider how men have hurt ME. What? You think I should consider how I hurt OTHERS? But then I’m not the victim so you can see the predicament I’m in.”
‘People of a certain creed or characteristic have wronged me’ has never been an excuse for racism, sexism or homophobia, so why do you get a free pass for ‘venting’ about ALL MEN?
‘Gay people have yelled at me and made fun of me so I hate all gay people. Yes, all gay people. If you’re gay and that offends you, you should take a long hard look in the mirror and stop being so mean and rude buddy.’
(I say this as someone who has actually been traumatized by a gay person so this isn’t just a throwaway analogy. Know what I did afterwards? I forgave him and we’re good friends now.)
I’m a lesbian thanks lol
Anyways I hate all men.
Really? Is ‘Butch-Dog’ a lesbian? I never would have fucking guessed.
And do you hate all men too? Never would have guessed that either.
Learn to be a better fucking person and maybe all men will stop hating you as well. (See how it goes both ways? It’s almost as if you’re just as responsible for your words and actions as anyone else. Oh wait no you’re a girl, so you don’t have to work on being a better fucking human being. That’s just for the trashbag men.)
